As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I made the decision to go on medication for my depression – depression that was crippling me and threatening my ability to keep it together. This past weekend I was at a wedding, and several of the people there are readers of my blog. So, a natural question they asked was, “How is the medication working out?”
That is the question, isn’t it? Generally, it’s good. I am some five weeks in, and should now be fully dosed. And I have some very good days, some OK days, and some bad days – I imagine just like you do.
Drugs don’t stop depression, as much as I wish they did. I am still the sort of person who gets depressed, and always will be. Hell, I always have been.
What the drugs do, however, is give me some space away from the depression. Instead of being immersed in it, I am able to sit back and observe it. Here is the way I described it to a friend the other day:
Imagine you are on a patio, and it has come a thunderstorm. You are getting drenched, and are unable to move to shelter. That is what depression feels like for me. Now imagine you are inside the house, looking at that same storm, and at that same patio through the sliding glass doors. The storm is still there, the patio is still there, and you are still there. That is what depression on meds feels like for me.
The storm is still there. But now I can observe it, instead of drowning in it.